review subjectttt??????? noooo ways!

Yes ways! Verily I say, I have chosen the victim for my wobsite review. And the poor sucker is.... apple.com! Yes, the very one. My reasons are several, and shall be enumerated forthwith.

• What first brought Apple to my attention was my boyfriend's discovery (he's a Mac user) of a mysterious green icon on the website, which led to this press release about how Apple is and is planning to become more eco-friendly. We all know (if we went to the talk) that environmentalism is essentially a secular religion, so there's some crossover I can talk about. Also I prefer green apples over red. Just sayin'.
• Obviously, Apple is a cult. Don't even try to deny it, because you know how rabid Mac users are. I'll be a bit less flippant and degrading in my actual review, I promise. Srsly.
  
• Also on the homepage: WWDC looks a lot like WWJD if you're not paying attention. Also what it actually is seems a lot like a pilgrimage.
• Steve Jobs as Jesus? I think that's a (sort of weird, but whatever) parallel worth exploring.
• It also reaches out to you individually, based on your personality.
• It also strives to connect not only the Mac community, but the world!
• And it saves you from the Devil. (I have to admit I did a little happy dance inside when I scrolled down that page and saw the words "open source UNIX heritage." OMG yay UNIX!
  
• Also, I hate Windows.